No. No. Don’t tell anyone!

“No. No. Don’t tell anyone!
That would be embracing the defeat.”
said the transmitter
“You are the one. You are the only Neo in your Matrix.”!!!

“But how do you fight on…
While so many of them are crawling under your skin
eating their way up through your spine, to your brain
to cut the last drop of you will,
now I have no fin”

May be.
May be just this time, it would be different

(Hands, calves, thighs, full of thinly sliced scabs,
with the prophecy of sharp edges only I survive)

Some peeled up. Some still raw.
Some show decay like they were skinned with a saw.

I do reach out to the sane.
There they are, the self-proclaimed well wisher with those open arms
and a warm cold smile, and the mysterious mane.

“I feel miserable…
…terrible and sad.” I say
“So what!
A lot of people have life worse. Cheer up!” They say

“My mind hurts…
…Feels like a prison” I say
“So what!
Just man up & snap out of it” They say

“I feel lonely & hopeless…
and so helpless”
“So what!
you choose to be by yourself, you are careless”

“I feel paranoid…
…Crippled by my fears”
“…so what! it’s just in your head. Get a hold on your self. Bring back the gears”

‘Life is only once’ they say
‘you are wasting it your way’
‘But what about the thousand deaths I have survived and rehabbed
All alone!’ I ask
‘No. That’s not normal.’ They say.


Medicated talks, pills & syringe.
(hand cuffs too)
would give some respite
said the


But, I don’t want them…
slowing me down as they push me around
that’s not right, that’s just not MY NORMALCY!
I am nothing without my powers, but a leash would do,
All I ask for, please doctor, ‘make my monsters just enough fancy’

{walks through the door
closet opens
a small bag full of old junks
there you go… an old leash!}

I have it.
My normalcy back.
Finally walks out…
And oh! that laughter. So infectious, so wide
but charm, they lack.

It’s Loud. Hundreds of people.
I can’t focus… I can’t move.. .
I… I… I can barely remembe…
crawling on the floor I try to find a groove

but what is!

‘Breathe. Just Breathe!’ they speak
(‘Stop the Drama already!’ they think)

And soon again I am back in my den at my rock bottom
& by my side, only my dogs…
broken on the floor, I look up
how again come these fogs…

– Almost a daily ordeal of a Schizophrenic.

 (by rustedbougainvillea)

3 thoughts on “No. No. Don’t tell anyone!”

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