The ‘first’ second chance

One can be a strong enthusiast and carry an extremely positive personality, but when your own life sets it’s sail to bring you down, no necessary help is a help other than your ownself.

8 years ago, it was rock bottom for me. And with personality disorder back then and the voices, there was hardly any true identity of self thst I could remember. In that conundrum of coincidence, I decided to give up. It took me 19 pills of sleep inducing medicine and reaching that brim of an edging slumber to realise… may be I have an idea to work it out. Give it a second chance. Give my life a second chance.

Then there was a will to live at that point when it was just seconds away from death. May be I can call it a near death experience or a calling of life. I dragged myself up and induced vomiting and drank a heavy load of water. I was all alone all that while with my personalitis hovering and voices screaming to give up, but I latched on. Focused on living that life that I always dreamt of. I am extremely proud of myself for that moment. For that was the moment I was born again. It’s one thing to choose a difficult life with your sanity in place another to choose that life when you have no idea where imagination and reality merge.

There has been many dips after that, even a few rock bottoms for my that rock bottom but I have always looked and found a reason for another second chance. Inspired by the first one.

(by rustedbougainvillea)